just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
