I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
My vagina just recognized that song.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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