I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
