John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
This beer is not sobering me up at all
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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