I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Randomize
