Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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