garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
