Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I wish they made helmets for livers.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Randomize
