Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
Randomize
