Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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