Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
