Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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