You're completely useless in the revolution.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize