I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
