Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Randomize
