wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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