So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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