My friends, they love my intelligence
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
