every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
Randomize
