butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
I was at the pharmacy picking up my herpes medication and the pharmacist asked if I had any questions about my medicine, looked at the bottle, and laughed. Insult to injury man.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
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