Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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