maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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