Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
