Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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