just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I need to stop being so honest when I'm drunk. I got proposed to by a stranger again last night. It's not my fault that I would be perfectly ok making sandwiches and giving blow jobs for the rest of my life.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
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