I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
then he tried to convert me to islam
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
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