So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Randomize
