we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
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