My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize