if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
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