There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Randomize
