I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
