hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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