Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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