nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
