You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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