When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
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