I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize
