You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
