im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
i think i just lost a toe
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Randomize
