There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
