didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
