Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
