let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
Randomize