Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
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