she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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