At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
