she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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