first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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