is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Randomize
