how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
