he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Randomize
