just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
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