You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Randomize
