I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
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