If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
