i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
