I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
