I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize