Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
