So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
