accomplished twins. life is a go
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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