I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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