Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Welp...herpes.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Randomize
