I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I could make wine with my vomit
My cat gives me a boner
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Randomize
