Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I think I died a long time ago.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
my roommate's gf just broke up with him and hes in his room crying and listening to coldplay while beating off to pictures of her...
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
Randomize
