I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
